Perseverance

This is story about perseverance and not letting anyone stand in the way of your dreams.

When I was in my late teens and in my first year of college I developed debilitating social anxiety. To those who don’t understand the concept of social anxiety, it is basically as I see it, the overwhelming fear that others will see the flaws you see within yourself.

Going into the field of nursing and being in a classroom full of students and working with people on a daily basis become nearly impossible. I had an immense fear of being watched and life as a student was challenging as you are constantly under the scrutiny of your instructors and peers as well as your patients. I nearly made it through 4 years of schooling but ultimately my anxiety proved to be too much and I had to drop out/ was pushed out of the program as there seemed to be no support within the academic system to help someone with such struggles.

These 4 years of schooling were not lost, however, and I was able to learn a lot about myself and knew from my struggles that I too wanted to help others who faced similar issues. During the time I was in school and in my period of abstinence from academics I suffered from long bouts of depression to the point I didn’t think I could go on and wanted to end it all. Throughout my time in school I sought help from my doctor who referred me to a psychiatrist and counseling but no combination of medication or therapy really seemed to help and my war waged on.

Each day I go to work is a reminder of how far I’ve come.

During one of my visits to my psychiatrist, he told me that I should consider going into another profession such as business as this would likely be easier for me to handle. But I was persistent and unwilling to give up on my dreams of wanting to help people so I enrolled in a psychiatric nursing program through distance education. During the year in between being accepted into the program and finally starting, I was able to get on the correct medications and things started to turn around for me not only in my academic life but also in my personal life as well.

After two years of intense schooling and some setbacks along the way, I finally graduated and now work as a psychiatric nurse. Each day I go to work is a reminder of how far I’ve come as I have the pleasure to work with people suffering from various mental health issues. I enjoy hearing people’s stories and it is a good reminder that mental illness effects everyone and no 2 people with the same diagnosis share the same story – it is unique to each person.

Mental illness is not just something like a cold.

Up till this point I have been very secretive in regards to my mental health struggles and even when I have decided to share some aspects of my story at times, older people seem to discount my reality, thinking that because I am young I couldn’t possibly understand their struggles or that it was just a phase and I would get over it. However mental illness is not something like a cold that you just get over. No, mental illness is a lifelong struggle and even though it can be managed it can never be cured. If there’s one thing that I hope people can take away from this, is that never let anyone stand in the way of your dreams because if you want something bad enough there’s always a way to make it happen even if you aren’t successful the first time it’s like they say “if at first you don’t succeed then try, try again.”