Mental illness, as told by Dinosaurs

The Bruce Wayne to the Batman of my adulthood is my budding career as a university writing instructor. This week, I conquered my fears of planes (and babies on planes) to make my way to Calgary, Alberta, to represent the University of Toronto at the Canadian Writing Centre Association Conference. At one point during takeoff I was clutching my anxiety raccoon for dear life (yes, I have an anxiety raccoon) and a goddamn baby tried to steal it. Who even invented babies?

I’m happy to report that my phone went off only once during the conference, I maintained casual-not-creepy eye contact with the lovely people who could eventually employ me in their schools, and I managed to get through my entire presentation without accidentally cursing. My mental health speaking engagements never seem to go quite as well because I often get all up in arms about why I can’t eat grapefruits anymore.

The day after the conference, I headed up to Drumheller, Alberta, which is also known as the dinosaur capital of Canada. My travel buddy for the week was my favourite professor from first year. We became friends after I came to class one time and explained that I didn’t write my paper because I wasn’t sure I wanted to be alive for the deadline, and while that’s an awful way to start a relationship, six years later, she’s one of my biggest role models. My contributions usually come in the form of lessons on pop culture and why Netflix & chill is actually the least chill of all.

That’s probably how I ended up creating a series of dinosaur memes in a world-renowned paleontology museum.

And then I realized that this would be even better IF I MADE THEM ABOUT MENTAL ILLNESS!

I’m on the plane home as I write this, and while I’m excited to get back into my own bed and my nightly routine of eating a second dinner with my medication, there’s something about travel that recenters me. I find myself at my best more often than not, forced a little outside of my comfort zone but not far enough to never get back. It’s kind of like when I buy something from the organic section of the grocery store and suddenly feel like Angelina Jolie.

A big thanks to my conference co-presenters, Sheryl and Sarah, for letting me be picky about the slides, to Alan for ordering that delicious paella, and to my amazing BnB hosts, Louise & Paul (and by extension Nikki and the gang). It was an incredible week away, and let me tell you – as someone with crippling anxiety, I don’t often feel right at home so easily. Peter, thank you for showing me the best parts of Calgary – I’m sorry for being a terrible dancer and I hope you can forgive me for not making you a Kraft Dinner sandwich, as promised. If you’re ever in Toronto, there’s a restaurant that makes them for you and then I don’t have to pretend I know how to use my stove.

Stay well everyone <3