My fight with Depression

Dear depression,

How was it? How was it to ruin me with terrible thoughts and useless but insane worries? I bet it felt great for you. Like that time you made me quit playing the sport I love by poisoning my brain with convincing thoughts that I wasn’t good enough, why did I start playing anyways? Don’t go to that game; don’t go to that practice you’ll tell me. Because instead of trying to get better, they’ll just be people watching that are going to laugh at you when you make mistakes, like you always do.

Did it make you feel satisfied when I stayed home and didn’t go to school because I couldn’t even have the courage to get out of the house? I bet it made you happy when I got my report card that stated that I had missed over 15 days in one semester.

Dear depression, I don’t need you anymore, I never did.

Was it fun for you to watch me cry until my eyes were swollen and red almost every day? You probably had a lot of excitement when I forced myself to cancel the plans I made with my friends. Or when I was left with a very few number of friends as they all thought I hated them because I would go weeks without talking to them.

I bet the best part for you was when you tried to convince me to just leave. Just quit…

Now, the best part for ME was when I stood up for myself and convinced myself that it could be better. I felt great when I shut you off for a few hours and socialized with the people I cared about. But the ultimate best decision I’ve made is getting help to get rid of you and your ugly, cruel ways.

Dear depression, I don’t need you anymore, I never did.