What I am capable of

My journey with mental health started in 2009, when I first sought help for depression and anxiety. What I didn’t realized at the time, was that my depression and anxiety was a result of a substance use disorder. In 2013-2014, I attended detox on three occasions, and in 2014 went to a residential treatment center for my addiction to alcohol. I remain sober to date, eight years later. It was in 2015, a year into my sobriety, that I first started experiencing auditory hallucinations and delusions.

Yes, I’m someone with a dual diagnosis.

In the Spring of 2015, I presented at the hospital with auditory hallucinations, and was sent home with sleeping tablets. This was not my first experience with the mental health system, as I had previously been successfully treated for substance use disorder. Yes, I’m someone with a dual diagnosis.

I spent the summer of 2015 in and out of the hospital, both voluntary and involuntary. It was a tumultuous time, both for myself and family and friends. I passed my time listening and following the directions of the auditory hallucinations. My behaviour infuriated my family, and I isolated myself from family and friends. The police came to my house several times for mental wellness checkups.

In the fall of 2015, I crossed the line of acceptable behaviour in the community, and was court ordered to see a forensic psychiatric nurse and psychiatrist. It was here that I found the help I so desperately needed, but didn’t want to accept. It was here I found a trusting individual to share my experience with auditory hallucinations. By the Summer of 2016, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

It was a very tumultuous time, my relationship with my family was all but strained, I had isolated myself from my friends, and spent the vast majority of my time doing photography and hiking with my dog, Shiloh. I hadn’t worked in a couple of years and experienced a great deal of major depression. I spent many sleepless nights wondering how to cope with life. My saving grace was a forensic mental health nurse, who helped me get on a good combination of medication, and provided counselling which I desperately needed.

I started to flourish, sober, symptom free, the world was my oyster.

I started to flourish, sober, symptom free, the world was my oyster. I opened a Non-Profit Organization but was still struggling to work. In the Spring of 2017, I moved to back across the country, to be closer to family and try working. I wasn’t sure what I was capable of, I wasn’t sure how hard I could push myself without having symptoms return. I started working for an accounting firm, and in January 2019 I started my Masters of Arts in Counselling Psychology. With a passion for mental health, specifically addictions and schizophrenia, I am pleased to be studying in the field.

Today I am eight years sober, currently doing my work term for the master’s program, and peer supporting with the Schizophrenia Society of Nova Scotia. My life today is unrecognizable to the life I was living in 2013 – isolated, alone, suffering from substance use disorder and schizophrenia. Today I am an avid golfer, hiker, and skier, I enjoy the work I’m doing in the mental health field, spending time with my dog Shiloh, and ultimately enjoying those relationships I have back in my life after a tumultuous time.

Click here to see Leslie’s website.