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I Just Need 1 Person to Believe in Me

Guest Author: Alyssia

This content contains explicit and sensitive information that may not be suitable for all ages.

The walls are crumbling, I’m hurt
The ocean is wild; I’m gasping for air
The dark clouds hover into my world
And nobody even cares.
My mind is going crazy
And the storm has just begun,
My life is filled with gray clouds,
Where once there was some sun.

I used to be happy,
Before the sad times in my past,
But then my darker days grew longer
I can’t remember when I smiled last.
I used to have a safe place,
Where I tried to find God in my life,
But I’m a different person now,
My days are filled with strife.

I have an invisible wound that I hide,
For if I didn’t, I’d be judged every day,
Even my parents and friends,
Would have very little to say.
I’ve asked for help before
But I was told it was “in my head”
They never take me seriously,
Would they care if I was dead?

“A nightmare isn’t real”

I cry so often,
Tears shed throughout the night
I want the pain to stop
But there’s not a caring soul in sight.
“Get over it”, they say.
“A nightmare isn’t real”,
Their ignorance and intolerance
Isn’t helping me heal

I need to work on me,
It would help to have some support,
But talking to my family is useless,
Like representing oneself in court
It is a great struggle the way I am hurt;
There’s no cast for my injured part,
Mental health is an invisible injury,
And that truly breaks my heart.

Depression isn’t taken seriously,
Nor’ are other’s disease
But if you walk into a hospital bleeding,
You’re quickly put at ease.
It’s the stigma that prevents the healing,
Because we’re shut down when we ask for help,
But if you took a moment to listen,
You’d see that’s courage in itself.

So treat me as though I AM WORTHY.

I know you may think I am “different”,
But I beg you; don’t push me away
Make yourself present and caring
And you’ll hear truth in what I say.
And don’t be afraid to laugh with me,
I AM NORMAL just like you
I am just experiencing a rough patch
And I need some help getting through.

So treat me as though I AM WORTHY,
Accept me, rather than tease,
AND slowly you’ll begin to realize,
That I AM NOT A DISEASE
You might not have walked down my path,
But empathy goes along way,
So take the time to learn and listen,
To those with invisible pain

I will heal again.

All I want is for someone to listen, and
Someone to help this pain end,
For someone simply to talk to
When I am trapped in my own head
So please do not shun; connect with me instead.
To prevent that stigma from growing,
If you are free from bias and judgment,
Active listening is what you’ll be showing.
Currently I may struggle alone,
From a familial and personal view,
But I know there are professionals out there,
Willing to help me through
This is my reality,
And I WILL NOT give into my pain,
I AM HUMAN and I am broken,
BUT I WILL HEAL again.

March 2014.

Comments

I don’t have one
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Alyssia,
This is painfully authentic, devastating and moving. You are so brave for sharing your story. I truly hope you have found someone to talk to , who listens and understands. I’ve been in your story, I feel for you and people like us. Please reach out to talk if you need to., to me personally or to the #SickNotWeak community

Alyssia
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Replying to “I don’t have one” – not sure that they’ll see this but if they do, thank you for the kind words. Happy to share with you that I’m not quite in the same place as when I wrote this 6 years ago, have made tons of progress, am now courageous enough to share my story on platforms such as this and I’m blessed to have a wonderful counselor who 100% has got my back. That’s something I would’ve never admitted even in 2014 which in itself demonstrates my resiliency in today’s time. Now I am an advocate for self care and owning your mental health and I try to be authentic and vulnerable as much as possible so that others know I’m an ally they can be real with. And though days can still be difficult at times I’m marching forward everyday.

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