April 18, 2017
Disclaimer: SickNotWeak does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. This content contains explicit and sensitive information that may not be suitable for all ages.
Ever since I was a kid, I felt like there was something different about me from others. I was the oddball in class but there was something more and I couldn’t figure out what it is. It continued throughout high school as well. I always felt like there was something missing, and that continues to this day. I have learned that it was depression.
I saw my psychiatrist about my depression, and while I still have depression issues, I am also dealing with another mental illness that has had a terrifying effect on my life. That is obsessive-compulsive disorder.
When people think of obsessive-compulsive disorder, they think it’s about keeping things tidy and in order. While that is part of it, OCD is a lot scarier than that. It is about obsessing over things so small but they have the ability to ruin moments because the mind is so focused on a little problem, that it’s hard to let go of it.
The best way to describe it is it feels like you felt an earthquake.
With OCD it’s always the focus on negative things that are at times not even a problem at all. An example is having a small mistake in a conversation like saying good morning twice. While most people will just let it go, people with OCD will keep the slightly embarrassing moment in their heads without having the ability to get past it.
The point where this got the scariest was when I started having intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are horrible sexual or violent thoughts about people around them. While everyone has these thoughts from time to time, people with OCD have the tendency to focus on them without being to let go of these thoughts.
When I would go out on daily routines, my intrusive thoughts made things hard to handle and at times scared to go out into the world. It made me want to stay home and not have to deal with it. What happens when I deal with the intrusive thoughts is it will cause my body to freeze and it feels like my body shuts down. And when it happens, it feels like your body is screaming out the intrusive thought and it is a terrifying experience. The best way to describe it is it feels like you felt an earthquake. While it feels so powerful to you, no one else can feel it. These experiences cause great anxiety and happen multiple times daily for me.
The terrifying thing about this initially was that intrusive thoughts are something that is not well-known throughout mainstream knowledge. When I was having these thoughts, I thought that I was becoming someone terrible and I will end up being a threat to society. After coming clean to my psychiatrist about what was going on, she told me all about intrusive thoughts. When I searched it up, it turns out lots of people have them as well and I was not alone. It’s how people react to intrusive thoughts that judges someone’s character. Good-hearted people who experience these thoughts will be terrified of them and have no desire to act upon them.
While it feels so powerful to you, no one else can feel it.
What really helped me get through it was reading online that people going through this are not alone. If you are going through this, then realize that you are not the only one going through this. I discovered that a good friend of mine was going through the same thing as well.
The more we openly talk about dealing with mental health issues the more progress we will make to end the stigma around it all.
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Thank God I have read this article. It was my pursuance to figure out if there are other people whose feeling there is something “shaky feels” when there’s no actual earthquake. Awhile ago, another “shaky feels” happened to me. Im actually feeling conscious if this can be linked to some sort of mental state of a person. And having read that OCD and its symptoms, I can say it is as the same as mine.
Welcome me to the club lolz…
It is giving me very hard time ,i can’t sleep due to this issue.
i have been feeling this earthquakes and those intrusive thoughts. it scares me at times, i thought there really is a quake, or that my blood pressure was radically moving up and down. thanks for sharing this one.
I’m honestly relieved to have found this post.
At nights I find it incredibly difficult to sleep. The way I can describe it is as if I know an earthquake is about to happen, I just know it, I feel it, and my husband lies next to me completely unaware that we’ll have to make a run for it any second.
There’s no way that I can explain to him why I’m so uneasy at night, and I’m scared that if I tell him that’s what I feel he’ll think I’m crazy…
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one that struggles with mental health.
This was so relieving to read because I’ve thought that I’ve had OCD for a while now but I haven’t gotten any real diagnosis so I try to avoid saying that I have it without proof, but reading this made me believe it even more. My symptoms are already pretty clear but the earthquake thing I never thought was related. I was literally talking to a friend about 5 minutes ago about how the earthquake thing was happening and I didn’t understand if it was real, but this is really eye opening.
Uhm, is the of the earthquake a literal feeling or just a way to describe it? I was looking for answers about whether you have a strong sense of feeling the movements of the things around you that you can feel small earthquakes but the people near you dont, then I saw this. Now I am having thoughts if I have depression or OCD or something. Because 2 years ago I felt like a mess that I am no longer useful to this world, resulting to not going to school, avoiding people, just staying at home, afraid of going out. Hard to admit but yes, everything I have done since 2018 onlymakes me regret even more. Should I also see a doctor or something?
Hello
My name is JD and I wrote this particular post. I did not notice the comments until just now. I really appreciate the fact that other people can relate to what I was going through and I am still going through. To answer a question above, the earthquake feeling is when I encounter something that triggers me, it feels like I don’t have full control over my body and it feels like everything around me is shaking.
I feel a rocking, almost like I’m on a boat. It usually only stays for 30 seconds to a minute.
I talked with a Facebook friend and he mentioned that he was a introvert, I was wondering if other people that feel this are? According to the Briggs personality test I’m infp, so is he.
I thought i have some kind of brain problems, it keeps me awake all nights, thank god about this article
I have ocd, I barely get any sleep I’m afraid that something bad will happen , so this time we had an earthquake a very mild one since then I feel shaky I live in a building and even near the ocean I get really scared at night I stare at my sister at night thinking what’s happening is there an earthquake.
Whilst I sit in my chair or sit still, it feels like someone is shaking the chair continuously or like when someone shakes a car when your in it and it gives me anxiety. I cant sleep because of it. Like others here, I felt relieved by reading this. It gave me understatement.
I believe I’ve found out what’s happening to me. However, when it gets really bad, I feel like the only way out is death.
Oh my!!! This article is lifechanging for me. Thx for sharing! You are making a difference, I can’t be the only one.
I thought I am the only one or something is wrong with me. Thanks to this article.
I have racing thoughts after I fall asleep. I will randomly wake up in the middle of the night thinking about all kinds of “what ifs”. What if I lose my job, what if my husband dies, what if I lose my job, what if my son dies in a car accident. I can’t make them stop. The last 3 nights, I have had some disturbing things occur. First night, woke to a loud bang and my ears ringing, then I couldn’t move. My husband woke me up. Second night, I heard the same bang and ears ringing. But this time I could slowly feel myself dying. My life was leaving me. I was thinking, “so this is what it feels like to die”. Then I suddenly started to say “help me” over and over and my husband woke me again. Last night was the third episode. No loud bang, but i thought there was an earthquake. I could feel my house and ground shaking. I could even hear pots and glass rattling. Again, my husband woke me. He did not feel anything. We live in Texas, so no earthquake. I am at a loss and cannot sleep anymore. I am afraid I have a neurological problem or a brain tumor? Does anyone have similar issues?
I’m sitting in my car furiously trying to figure out why there is no news on the earthquake we just had and stumbled across this, and it all makes sense. My anxiety is through the roof. I am constantly sighing to take a breath because I’m subconsciously holding it. Hearing is muffled, but sounds are amplified.. I could go on, but I’m sure you get the picture.
One question though. Does anyone ever have their heart beat so hard it moves your whole body, only to have it feel like it stops beating?
What do u mean by sexually?