The long, winding road

Growing up, I knew I had issues with anxiety, starting in high school where I had chronic issues with social anxiety and GAD.  

It wasn’t until university when I started experiencing depression along with my anxiety.  My identical twin brother was also battling depression at the same time and both of us kept our issues to ourselves and our primary care physicians.  

We were still both in denial of our addiction.

We both sustained major injuries in 2009 and were put on heavy painkillers.  It was exactly what we had both been looking for.  It provided an instant escape from the anxiety and depression that had plagued us for years.  Slowly but surely we both started abusing our prescriptions to the point where we were running out early but we were still both in denial of our addiction.

 After managing to complete university with high grades, we both went to a large Canadian city to pursue a career in genetics.  Our addiction followed us and eventually took us to a place where we secluded ourselves, severely affected our relationships with those closest to us and caused us to drop out of graduate school.  

This is when we both began the rapid decline into heavier drug use to mask our depression, only making our situation worse.  We both hit our rock bottom in different ways but both of us were in a dark place where the light couldn’t reach.  Our family stepped in and with their full weight behind us, we sought help through various mental health resources.

 I wake up every morning now and say “thank you.”

It has been a long a winding road, not without its setbacks, but we both are now leading healthy lifestyles and slowly getting to a place where we can continue to pursue our dreams.  What I want to get across to anyone reading this is that no matter how deep and dark of a place you are in, there are always resources at your disposal.  If we did not reach out for help and put a name to our struggles, I truly believe one of both of us would not be here to enjoy what this beautiful world has to offer.

 I wake up every morning now and say “thank you.” Not to god, or another deity, but to everyone who helped get me where I am today.  I now make an effort to reach out every single day to help someone by telling my story or sharing my struggles with mental health because you never know who is listening and what struggles they face on a day-to-day basis.