Queer Enough: On Gatekeeping

Queer Enough: On “Gatekeeping” in the LGBTQIA+ Community

Guest Author: Kit Havoc

This content contains explicit and sensitive information that may not be suitable for all ages.

One of the first things I remember upon coming out as bisexual at age fourteen was a friend of mine rolling his eyes and declaring, “Bisexuality isn’t real.”

This was my first experience with what is known in the LGBTQIA+ community as “gatekeeping,” an attempt to police what identities are “allowed” in and can access LGBTQIA+ resources, such as mental health services, safe sex education/protection, space in LGBTQIA+ shelters, and many more. Often, these resources can be lifesaving, giving displaced queer youth a safe place to sleep, helping them cope with the toll harassment/discrimination can have on their mental health, and helping them prevent and be educated on STDs, just to name a few.

However, the concept of “gatekeeping” is keeping vulnerable people from these tools that can help them, claiming they don’t qualify to use them because of what basically amounts to “you’re not the right kind of queer.” I’ve heard this often since my coming out, as have many others. Our identities are seen as “too complicated” or “made up” and we are dismissed as being “fakers” trying to “sneak in” to the LGBTQIA+ movement.

Our identities are seen as “too complicated” or “made up.”

The invalidation of one’s identity by a community that was built on the concept of being a space for those discriminated against by the cisheteronormativity of our society can really take a toll on one’s mental health. For example, I’m one of the “weird ones.” After years of playing around with labels for how I experienced attraction, I eventually settled on identifying as asexual panromantic. This means I experience romantic attraction to all genders, but experience no sexual attraction whatsoever. I frequently talk on my blog about what these labels mean to my identity as a queer woman, but, as of late, I have begun to receive regular harassment under the pretence of “asexuality is not a queer identity.” The messages range in tone, from politely attempting to explain why my asexuality doesn’t have a place in the LGBTQIA+ movement, to straight up death threats – I’ve been told “I hope you die” or “please choke” more times than should generally be accepted (which is zero).

As someone who already suffers from Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), you can imagine this doesn’t do wonders for my mental health. I’ve become more anxious and stressed every time I upload a post discussing my experiences, worried that more threats will come. I worriedly ask the Queer Space I frequent if I am really allowed there, despite having been for years, because these messages/comments make me fear that I am in fact not “queer enough,” so to speak, to have access to these places.

So many queer people have faced this discrimination from their own community.

My story isn’t unique. So many queer people have faced this discrimination from their own community. Talk to trans women about how they’ve been barred from female-specific queer support groups because they’re “not real women,” nonbinary people who are told they don’t have a place in the movement because “nonbinary isn’t real,” bisexual/pansexual people who are told they’re not welcome because “you’re just faking it,” or asexual/aromantic people who are told they’re “invading” because “not wanting sex doesn’t make you queer.”

Of course, none of this is true – trans women are women, simple as that; nonbinary people exist and have for a very long time; bisexuals/pansexuals are not faking their attraction to multiple genders; asexuals/aromantics are not invading, they have a place in our movement. However, this narrative of exclusion persists, based upon lies and historical revisionism.

Queer people are some of the most vulnerable out there.

One of the most influential events in modern queer history, the Stonewall riots, were started by bisexual trans women (Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera). The “Mother of Pride,” Brenda Howard, was bisexual. These parts of our history are often washed over, their contributions ignored in order to provide a narrative that is more “palatable” to straight people in hopes that they’ll accept us if we don’t make it “too obvious” that we’re not part of the cisheteronormative system. Our history needs to be taught so that attempts at “gatekeeping” are shut down by the knowledge that the people they’re trying to keep out are also the people who helped make our movement and community what it is today.

Queer people are some of the most vulnerable out there, and they should not be kept from lifesaving resources due to their own community judging them as “not queer enough.” There is only one person who can decide if they are “queer enough,” and that is the person themselves. Don’t bar people from something that can provide them desperately needed help because you don’t think they deserve it.

It’s not about you, it’s about them.


Tiger Lily

Thank you for sharing this. Yes, not fitting in is very stressful and takes a toll on a person’s mental health. Something I’ve started to notice lately is that, although we say we value diversity, most people struggle with accepting someone who’s different from them. I’m a heterosexual female in my early 40s who’s never been married and doesn’t have kids and some people find me strange, yet I know lots of women like me. I hope you’ve found a home at SNW where you feel accepted. I really enjoyed reading what you wrote.



——> [url=]START MAKE BITCOIN NOW![/url] [url=]START MAKE BITCOIN NOW![/url] [url=]START MAKE BITCOIN NOW![/url] <——



today there are hundreds of other cryptocurrencies, often referred to as altcoins. put another way, cryptocurrency is electricity converted into lines of code with monetary value. in the simplest of forms, cryptocurrency is digital currency. unlike centralized banking, like the federal reserve system, where governments control the value of a currency like usd through the process of printing fiat money, government has no control over cryptocurrencies as they are fully decentralized. most cryptocurrencies are designed to decrease in production over time like bitcoin, which creates a market cap on them. [url=]other income streams[/url] that’s different from fiat currencies where financial institutions can always create more, hence inflation. the technical system on which all cryptocurrencies are based on was created by satoshi nakamoto. while hundreds of different cryptocurrency specifications exist, most are derived from one of two protocols; proof-of-work or proof-of-stake. all cryptocurrencies are maintained by a community of cryptocurrency miners who are members of the general public that have set up their computers or asic machines to participate in the validation and processing of transactions. history of cryptocurrency. the first cryptocurrency was bitcoin. bitcoin is a cryptocurrency that is based on the proof-of-work system.

best ways for passive income, passive income online business, passive rental income, safe passive income, passive income 50 000, passive income entrepreneur, passive income pdf, great passive income, passive income nz, passive income queen, how to generate passive income streams, good passive income, active income passive income, passive income sources india, passive income how to start, passive rental income, passive income irs, passive income vs ordinary income, list of passive income ideas, 9 passive income, passive income deductions 2018, 8 ways to create passive income, passive income 50 000, passive income canada tax, passive money making, passive income journal





——> [url=]START MAKE BITCOIN NOW!![/url] [url=]START MAKE BITCOIN NOW!![/url] [url=]START MAKE BITCOIN NOW!![/url] <——


the money project uses intuitive visualizations to explore ideas around the very concept of money itself. this introduction explains the most important thing about cryptocurrencies. after you‘ve read it, you‘ll know more about it than most other humans. while still somehow geeky and not understood by most people, banks, governments and many companies are aware of its importance. but beyond the noise and the press releases the overwhelming majority of people – even bankers, consultants, scientists, and developers – have a very limited knowledge about cryptocurrencies. [url=]make money at home posting links[/url] they often fail to even understand the basic concepts. so let‘s walk through the whole story. what are cryptocurrencies? where did cryptocurrency originate? why should you learn about cryptocurrency? and what do you need to know about cryptocurrency?

make money online on autopilot, 40 ways make money online, ways to make extra money, make money from home legitimate uk, make money from home by posting ads, how to make residual money, earn money at home for housewife, make money online male, make money knitting home, make money writing, make money at home typing, make money from home toronto, make money home workshop, make money online legit 2018, make a lot of money, how to earn money from home, make money at home online legit, make money residual income, make money online on autopilot for free, make money stay home mom, how can l make money online, make money online college student, make money online from zero, make money at home online reviews, make money from home genuine, make money online 2018 youtube

Add Comment