July 4, 2016
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This piece has come such a long way over the course of the semester. Fun fact – it used to be double this length! Kallista chipped away at it like a sculptor, and really found its heart. The formatting is so playful but the words are quite somber, and it’s that juxtaposition that makes this poem work.
Behind a Veil – by Kallista Chayil
Did you hear the prophecy?
Beware the Ides of March…
Behind a veil – the crowd pauses
growing weary, held down
without an ace to see me through
I lost the strength
the gravedigger arrives and unloads his tools
Hollow condolences
Empathy – an atrophied muscle
the plot measured – the spade breaks the sod
Critical eyes judged every step a misstep
imaginary foibles spotlighted relentlessly
“Perhaps, I could have done something?”
the earth cracks
Playing the deaf mute
you looked the other way
Disbelief dominates thoughts
as the coffin moves past.
the soothsayer called the warning
did you pay heed?
the sod is peeled back
“I can’t believe it.'”
echoes round the room
rejected marred declared never good enough
strengths in a different realm became a burden
the shovel pries the earth loose
they dominated pleas dismissed voiceless
smaller without a chance outnumbered
Shades of black settle into pews
silence fills the chapel
the gravedigger pauses
alone without a comforting arm
nor an encouraging word
“Such a shame” hums in the background
prying at the dirt the shovel strikes again
will someone sit with me
Heads bowed in reverence, a candle lit
an overstepped boundary
incessant teasing ridicule
intensity doubles in the next attack
silenced again
the shovel pierces through
“What a pity” – the crowd murmurs.
a heart broken again
exhausted barely making it through
alone waiting
the mound of dirt accumulates
“If only I knew”
anxiety immobilizes
I could do nothing else
the shovel pries at the coarse soil
Lacklustre words the phone collects dust
winter boots exchanged again for summer dresses
Dusty memories of a call not made
your promise like the others
bouncing like a rubber cheque
sits beside a silent phone
I waited rigid with the memory
tossing another clump, sweat drips from their brow
“Could I have done something?”
small wins over shadowed
Hijacking the conversation your air of superiority
commits you to wrong answers
An unsolemn face
networks the room like a greased politician
the gravedigger embarrassingly reaches for a kerchief
anxiety trumps anger
my response landed on disbelieving ears
silenced frozen
the gravedigger wipes his brow
“If I had known”
i wandered
sickened by another broken promise
a final clump lands with a thump
Time now to pay respects
respect
a too late guest
oddly stumbles in
the work is done, the gravedigger sleeps
Thank you for digging my grave.
The silence grows
Beware! … The Soothsayer warned the emperor.
Anyone for a game of cards?
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Got it! Thanks!
Beautiful work Kallista!
Haunting imagery and piercing words.
Thank you for sharing yourself with all of us so honestly, Natalya