Jul 12, 2016
This content contains explicit and sensitive information that may not be suitable for all ages.
My story is one of many I’m sure, but one that gets very little attention. Since adolescence and for 20 years I had been plagued by progressively worsening autoimmune conditions. The doctor’s couldn’t figure out a cause and for years I was forced to chase symptoms only. By last year, I couldn’t stand on my feet for more than a few minutes, I was not sleeping, had gone blind in one eye, struggled with Colitis, became diabetic, have ADD, hypothyroidism and a plethora of other related immune system dysfunctions. After a failed attempt on my life having lost all hope of getting better, the doctor in emergency advised me that she strongly suspected I had major depression. Within a day of starting on anti-depressants my physical conditions changed for the better. The physical effects of depression, regardless of how well mood is managed, is a far underrated disability if left untreated. Even many doctors aren’t aware that depression is a physical condition first, with mood being one of many symptoms. I wrote this song 3 months after recovery, having gained 20 lbs exercising since the day after I picked up my first prescription. The song is about my struggle to think differently and try to reclaim a life I had long left behind (sorry for the poor production quality, recorded in my living room and I’m far from good at mixing and mastering :))