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Voice of Depression

Voice Of Depression

By Michael Landsberg

This content contains explicit and sensitive information that may not be suitable for all ages.

I talk about the Voice of Depression all the time, so what is it? It’s that voice that you hear in your head that understands all of your fears and insecurities.

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sad lady 2014
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I am working hard today to tune out that voice of depression. Today, I am missing two of my beautiful cats, a little girl named Casey and a beautiful boy cat named Tommy. They have both passed away, and Tommy, who was part Norwegian Forest cat, is the one I am missing the most. He was my “companion cat”, and was always close by to comfort me. He was taken so suddenly. He had been lethargic and not coming close to me for a day or two. By the time we took him to the vet — immediately — it was too late. The vet said he had never seen such a large enzyme count in an animal’s liver, and more than likely he had been poisoned. He was euthanized immediately — all this happened in the span of 2 hours. How did this happen — was it accidental or intentional — he did go outside. This happened 3 years ago this April, and I am still shedding tears for him. We came home without him.

My heart is broken today, as there will never be another “Tommy” “midnight blue — so lonely without you”, sweet boy — Hugs

LydiaB
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When I first saw you on a hockey panel I knew there was something about you I could connect with. I saw passion for the sport, but I knew there was something more. Unfortunately for both of us the thing that connects us is Depression. The voice of depression had me believing for 50 years that I was a failure and an embarrassment to my parents and older sister. I allowed them to bully and humiliate me until my dad died in 2012. He lived with us the last 4 years and he and my sister still made me feel inadequate. It took us these last four years to settle everything from the estate and my sister was telling my how I am toxic. Well, I finally realized that they were the toxic ones and I have forgiven each of them, my depression (bipolar, OCD & anxiety as well) and myself. I will always have depression and bipolar, but at the moment they don’t have me. I fight my moods almost every day and know I always will. But I also know I can be whatever I want and I am being a writer. It is what I wanted to do all my life. I just never knew I would be blogging about the stigma against mental and chronic physical illness. I love it. And I tell you, Michael, hearing your daily Landsblog is real inspiration. Thank you.

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